5 Valentine's Day Surprises That'll Get You Laid - For the Ladies There's less than a week til that holiday we love to hate and much of
what makes Valentine's Day difficult to bear is the pressure put on
guys to be "the man" and get their chicks some kind of boat or pony to
show they love them fo' realz. But spending big bucks on a present that may or may not make a
difference is not in the picture for most of us these days, and honestly
ladies -- you've gotta stop expecting your guy to do all the work. So here are 5 affordable ways to show the guy of the moment (or the
one you want to keep around for a while) that you care -- and that
you're definitely interested in getting laid that night. 1. Role-play. With Costumes. Ask any guy -- one of several ultimate fantasies involves his partner
wearing some kind of get-up that resembles a super-hot female figure
from pop culture (or real life). Some usual suspects? Princess Leia.
Jessica Rabbit. Lara Croft from "Tomb Raider." Any character portrayed
by Angelina Jolie. Whatever his turn-on, try putting together an ensemble that gives him the right idea. And if fantastical ladies aren't his bag, use the tried and true
French maid or naked chef (with an apron for safety) idea. Don't make
him wait until Halloween to see you wearing a sluttified version of an
everyday outfit. 2. Cook. Food and sex -- believe it or not, they're up on there on guys' "want
all the time" scale higher than oxygen and high-5's. And who wouldn't
want to come home from work/play to find he's got a full meal waiting
for him and he doesn't have to do a damn thing in order to eat it? Figure out his favorite food and see if you're capable of making it.
Surprise him with a nice spread (pun intended) and if you're feeling
extra saucy (pun also intended) serve him wearing just an apron and a
smile. Make sure to drop a napkin more than once and give him a good show as
your bend, twist and reach for it. And no need for dessert, as whatever
he eats after he takes that last bite of steak is up to him. 3. Plan a Bedroom Adventure. This takes a bit of time and thought, but if that's a problem for you, you might want to rethink your goals. At this point you and your man probably have boned a few times and
you might have picked up on a few of his favorite sex positions - and
possibly a few he'd like to try but you haven't felt up for yet. Show your man how much you want him -- and want to please him -- by
rallying, stretching and prepping yourself for some selfless sex. He'll love knowing you spent at least a few minutes thinking about
exciting ways for him to fuck you and you to suck him, and if he sees
some sexy accessories by the bed his boner will be at full mast before
you touch your toes. 4. Practice Tantric Sex You've read about it, seen Sting talk about it on Oprah, but it still
seems like a completely fantastical act that only hippies and Grammy
winners practice. Not true. 5. Use Sex Toys. Yeah yeah, we all say we love sex toys, but chances are we probably
haven't dived into the couples toy world as deeply as we probably
should. There are apprehensions and nerves to bypass, and it's not
always easy to get him in the mood using something with a whirring
motor. So how about getting a few sex toys that are made specifically for
his pleasure that you also can use together? The Fleshlight and other
masturbator sleeves make handjobs feel better than ever, and you can
make eye contact and all kinds of sexy talk to each other as you slowly
work him with your newly vagina-ized hand. Or bring over a cock ring, especially one with a vibrator. This will
make his cock and balls look even huger than they already do (ahem) and
give him an extra-hard erection thanks to its blood flow control. And with a vibrator you (aka your clitoris) gets some pleasure, too.
Chances are that little vibrating cock ring might give you an enhanced
orgasm as you're fucking, which will make you feel like a million bucks
and him feel like a fucking STUD. But if sex toys ain't your bag, pick up some special lube -- flavors
can be fun -- or maybe some massage oil. That stuff is much easier to
introduce to a sex toy phobe and are still hella fun to use together. Just remember -- this sex toy shopping trip is for him. Remember that
"Simpsons" episode in which Homer bought Marge a bowling ball for her
birthday? Do you think he really purchased that gift with his
blue-haired wife in mind? Nope. So don't pull a Homer - leave the glitter, pink bows, and rhinestones for your own personal pussy time. |
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